TrackVia, the leading provider of online database software, today announced the launch of their new Data Randomizer feature. Designed for customers who are bored with their same-old, same-old data, the Data Randomizer injects spontaneity and hilarity into data management tasks by randomly changing unknown fields in unknown records. “What’s more fun than mistakenly referring to a customer named Bob as Bob-Boberan?’” asked TrackVia CEO Chris Basham rhetorically. “Or mistaking product number 1144332 for 1133442? I mean, 1133442?? Ha!”

The Data Randomizer uses genetic algorithms developed in collaboration with Caltech, NASA, and the National Association of Improv Comedians. It uses a proprietary Mishap Factor, a scaled numerical score ranging from seventeen to infinity, to decide where data randomization can be injected most enjoyably. For example, the Data Randomizer algorithm can deduce that “routine check-up” is funnier if changed to “invasive colon surgery.”

The new feature is available immediately to existing TrackVia customers for an additional monthly charge of $1,999.99. 

To access this new feature, TrackVia users should perform the following steps:

1. Go to the Database Overview page of the database to be randomized.
2. Search on the phrase “data randomizer.”
3. On the no results found phrase, right-click four times.
4. Left-click six times, hit Enter five times, and reduce the brightness of your monitor.
5. Search a second time on “invasive colon surgery.”
6. Call TrackVia Support at (800) 673-3302 and ask for the 87-digit access key. 

Separately, TrackVia announced that the following new features will be beta-tested with select customers in April:

• The Animal Noises feature announces the logging in of one’s colleagues by playing moooo and baaaa sounds.
• The Self-Chat feature is an embedded single-person instant messaging client that allows users to send messages to themselves, such as “Go get ‘em, Tiger!” and “I have intrinsic worth!”
• The Space-Time Wormhole feature enables customers who send an Email Campaign to an address being monitored by TrackVia’s Email Collection feature – with auto-reply – to create an infinite loop and thereby travel backward in time.  

For questions or concerns about these features, please click here to contact TrackVia Support. 

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